An ok sex life is NOT ok!

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When our daughter Anna Sophia Rose was stillborn my heart was broken. I can’t even describe how it feels. It was like nothing else I have ever imagined. It was too much. It just was too much. 

When I heard this voice in my head telling me: “You have to keep your heart open. Open your heart over and over again.”, I just wanted to give the middle finger to God. “Keep your heart open…” and even then, when the pain felt like too much, I knew there was no other way. 

Not so long after she died, that same voice showed up in my meditation again: 

“You will have to keep your heart open, otherwise you will lose each other. This is the moment where relationships don’t make it. Keep your heart open and you will teach others to do the same.”

At first it felt like a challenge to keep my heart open in our day2day life. 

After that when I had to listen to chit chat…this was never one of my talents ;) but as she died, all veils were lifted. Don’t bring your bs victim stories to me please. :) 

And the most difficult moment for me to keep my heart open, was when being intimate with my husband. 

Why me? Why this? Why, why, why? 

I have learned so many women to receive more pleasure between the sheets, heal vaginismus and other intimacy issues. 

Why me? 

Because it learned me the most important thing in feminine receiving: 

The only one blocking this, is you and your open heart. 

The moment you open your heart and set the intention to keep your heart open, is when the healing will naturally take place. 

But why do women close themselves off during se/? 

Because you can’t have amazing, full body orgasms and not feel all there is to feel. 

So if there is trauma, that will come up. 

If there is hidden grief, that will come up. 

If there is anything else, that will come up. 

And of course this is in the context of a safe relationship etc, but that is also often the exact place where women tell themselves stories. 

That they have a great relationship and an ok se/ life should be ok. 

Because they already have all the other amazing things. A beautiful home, they are best friends, beautiful kids etc…

But let my story inspire you that you can have it all. 

Will it take faith, courage and time? 

Yes and so much less time than your ego lets you believe. 

I will tell you more about it in part 2.